Imbedded in our parental DNA are traits from our own childhood upbringing. If you take a moment and listen carefully you can almost hear your mother firmly suggesting that you ‘be quiet’ or your father impatiently demanding that you ‘sit down and finish your dinner’.
How many times have you told your child that she’s too noisy or too energetic? Or perhaps your child is pensive and you announce to your friend that ‘she’s so shy’ or maybe that ‘it takes her a while to get used to new people’.
The above examples may seem like ordinary interactions between parent and child. But to a child, this type of exchange slowly robs children of their desire to express themselves freely, they begin to develop feelings of imperfection and start dwelling in the land of misbelief in the form of ‘I’m not good enough.’
You may be thinking that I’m exaggerating a child’s feelings based on a few harmless and necessary directives. But repetitive ‘corrections’ that dampen a young child’s creativity and free expression often produces teens who look for approval with everything in their life and tend to follow the crowd, leaving independent thought kicked to the curb.
Even before she speaks her first words, your child is good enough. She is good enough to cry out when she is hungry. She is good enough to take her first steps. She is good enough to ride her first bike. She is good enough to make little decisions from what shoes to wear with her shorts to when to put down the fork and stop eating.
It is a good idea to allow children to comfortably express their true feelings. They are not the feelings of their friends or their parents, but their own. They are independent feelings, regardless of what other people think. True feelings are good enough feelings.
Demonstrate with your words and behavior, multiple times a day, how much you truly love your child. Giving unconditional love is the greatest way for your child to establish a strong knowing that she is good enough. Let us help you share positive moments with your child with our weekly Joy Kids Express or follow Joy Kids Universe on Pinterest for the latest Joy Kids Joy Tips. With a built-in ‘good enough’ compass she will grow into a very confident, compassionate, vibrant adult.
Do you have some thoughts of your own on this topic? Please leave your comments below.
By, Joanne Henig, Co-Founder
Joy Kids Universe, LLC
The Law of Attraction for Kids
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